I got into my first serious
relationship at 21. We took a "break" twice and ended it when I
was 24. Four months after the relationship ended, I jumped into another
relationship where I lived with my then boyfriend for two years. That
relationship ended when I was 26. I'm now 27 and will be 28 in September
and have been single ever since. There are many things I've gained though
while being single. After my last relationship ended, I began solely
focusing on me. I ended up changing my eating habits and adopted a
healthier lifestyle. I found a new
hobby, which was running. I needed to do something to clear my mind when
life seemed too demanding and it has helped so much. I completed my first
10k this past April and am planning to run a half-marathon in October. My
new hobby brings me so much enjoyment and peace of mind that I would have never
imagined. Being single has given me so much more confidence and
self-esteem. I only engage in things that gives me pleasure and it feels
good not having to depend on anyone to bring me comfort. It took some
time getting used to bearing all my emotions alone, but I realized sometimes
you must work through things on your own.
The more time I spend alone,
the more I am learning what I like and what I don't like in a partner and
things in general. I am also less likely to engage in things that do not
serve me for the greater good. Recently I also connected with a group of
women that I would never thought would happen. My friendship circle has
expanded and I never knew how much I needed that sister-tribe in my life.
We are all at different stages in life, but we are constantly there
cheering each other, supporting each other, and making each other laugh.
I also got even closer with another one of my friends and she's very
supportive as well. Being single has made me seek friendships and
associations that would not have been the case had I stayed in a relationship.
I was always wrapped up in what my boyfriend was doing and hanging with
him and his friends, that I did not realize I needed my own time to just enjoy
the company of my girls. It is so easy to get comfortable and stagnant
while in a relationship that often you lack self-motivation to pursue your
dreams and goals. Right now, in my late 20's, my focus is trying to build
for a greater future and work on myself so that I am whole enough to endure
life's many obstacles and be the best partner whenever he comes around.
4 comments
excellent read and very true. I just turned 28 and I am fresh off back to back 2-year relationships. Since then I've been focused on "feeding my soul" and have found tremendous joy in reconnecting with myself. Like you mentioned, there is an adjustment period; but once you get comfortable things begin to take off in ways you'd never imagine.
ReplyDeleteIt does take some adjustment. At times I crave championship and intamacy, but I'm also enjoying having peace of mind. It's crazy how you can easily lose yourself in a relationship, but I guess when you're whole that does not happen.
DeleteI'm glad you've used this time to do positive things!
ReplyDeleteGreat reading your ppost
ReplyDelete